i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
