there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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