Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
where does the pee come out of this thing
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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