The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
