I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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