I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
