Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Two words: blizzard sex
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
