Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
