so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
