We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Let's paint friendship bongs
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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