as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
