can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
