We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
