I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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