she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
