just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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