Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
