I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
That was an excessively violent trivia night
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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