girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
