Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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