I like to think it a success when the cops are called
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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