and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
