roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
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