and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
