Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
