We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
All the doctor said was why
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
