Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
