so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize