what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
