I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
