You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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