I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
