I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
