Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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