Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize