Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
