I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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