i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
