I'm gonna have a badass scar
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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