I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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