my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
