Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
