im drinking this country out of the recession.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
