i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize