It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I love having hate sex.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
