i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize