i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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