You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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