When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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