You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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