I'm going to rape someone's good day.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
