Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
