I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
