What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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