so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
