I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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