Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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