Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize
