gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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