i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
