curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I think your dad took our porno
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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