Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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