You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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